Category Archives: South Campus Dining Hall

South Campus Dining Hall, floor 3

Directions: There are several ways to get to this secluded number, any of which could be locked for a lot of different reasons. The easiest way is to go in the secondary door to the main floor, which is on the same wall as the main diner entrance but farther down on the right. Once you go in this door, either walk up the stairs or take the elevator to the third floor. Be careful with that elevator though — it was dangerous enough for some intrepid journalism student to make a video about it, and then for some intrepid journalism instructors to try to kick him out of the university for it.

But no matter. Once you get to the top, walk through the two doors at the top of the steps and down the long, skinny hallway. When you get to the main hallway, turn right. It will be your first door on the right.

If the diner is closed, the large concrete steps to the left of the main diner entrance will take you to the same main hallway on the third floor. Just follow it the length of the building and it will be on your right.

REPORT CARD

Cleanliness: D

It’s old and mistreated, and the crazy long-hairs from the radio station down the hall have a habit of getting drunk and leaving their bodily fluids lying around.

Odor: C-

It’s old and mildewy, and the room’s yellow tint doesn’t help.

Solitude: A

It’s a big bathroom, but there isn’t a reason for too many people to be up there; the Diamondback newsroom and WMUC studios are there with half of the University Counseling Center, but that’s pretty much it.

Lighting: C+

If I couldn’t see the ceiling I’d think the place was lit with a bunch of gas lamps. Really bizarre lighting not really conducive to productive reading, but I gave it a little boost because there’s almost always a newspaper lying in at least one of the stalls.

Facilities

Stalls: 3, manual flush

Urinals: 6, manual flush

Sinks: 4, manual faucets

Notes: A very quiet locale, but leaves a lot to be desired in the way of ambience. Also, the urinals are really weird and stick out extremely far from the wall. Which doesn’t make sense. Who would design a urinal whose only practical function is to get an eyeful of the dude next to you?

—Rich

South Campus Dining Hall, main floor

Directions: Walk in the front door of the diner and turn right. Against the wall in front of you will be a short set of stairs to the back dining room, encased in one side with glass panes. Go up those steps. The bathroom will be in front of you to the left.

REPORT CARD

Cleanliness: F

I honestly don’t remember a time I was in this bathroom without seeing somebody’s poop somewhere. Not always in the toilet. But yeah, everything’s gross and drippy and poorly maintained.

Odor: C+

Surprisingly, all the poop doesn’t negatively impact the smell too much. Not awful, but not rosy.

Solitude: D

Thousands of students come through the diner every day, and a lot of them have to use the bathroom. It also appears to be the only bathroom accessible to dining hall employees, so there really isn’t much alone time.

Lighting: D-

No lights above the stalls, but the lighting in the rest of the bathroom is harsh and bright enough that a barely acceptable amount seeps in.

Facilities

Stalls: 2, motion flush

Urinals: 4, motion flush

Sinks: 3, motion faucets

Notes: Pretty much only an option if you just ate the pepperoni roll and can’t make it home.

—Rich