Category Archives: C

Cole Field House, concourse bathroom 1

Directions: Walk into the main door of Cole, through the lobby and onto the concourse. Turn right and walk a quarter of the way around until you come to a small lobby with the entrance to the Driskell Center in it. A small hallway on the left houses a family bathroom. Go in.

REPORT CARD

Cleanliness: B-

It’s not a bathroom that gets a lot of cleaning attention, but it’s also very low-traffic. It’s average.

Odor: C+

Middling odor. Not really that terrible but if you were blind you’d still know you were in a bathroom.

Solitude: A+

Nobody comes around Cole Field House anymore, and you can lock the door behind you. You could probably run a business out of this place and not be in anyone’s way.

Lighting: B

Yellow lighting, not very bright but it will get the job done.

Facilities

Stalls: 1, motion flush

Urinals: 0

Sinks: 1, manual faucet

Notes: The facilities in Cole are massive because of its former life as the home of Maryland basketball. You could really go to any of the bathrooms to get some privacy, but this one is absolutely the most secure.

—Rich

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Adele H. Stamp Student Union, ground floor, bathroom 1

Directions: Walk to the Hoff Theater through whatever route you desire — it’s in the hallway branching off of the food court next to Chick-Fil-A. It’s directly across from the ticket office.

REPORT CARD

Cleanliness: B-

Not nearly as well-maintained as the other bathrooms in Stamp, but there are still shiny faucets and a relatively crap-free stall.

Odor: C

It smells much worse than it should, and definitely worse than it looks. I may have just had bad timing, but not the best scent up in herr.

Solitude: A-

It’s a FAMILY bathroom, which means it’s actually protocol to lock the door when you come in. Still, it’s right next to the busiest location on campus, the food court, and there are almost always people hanging out right outside the door that will definitely judge you if you come scampering out of here with three newspapers and a printed copy of the Bathroom Inventory.

Lighting: B

Dimmer than most of the great bathrooms in the building, and it’s pretty dim in the stall despite a light being directly overhead. Not the best but workable.

Facilities

Stalls: 1, motion flush

Urinals: 0

Sinks: 3 motion faucets, 1 manual faucet

Notes: In any other building, this bathroom would be an oasis. But in Stamp, it looks like crap. It definitely gets less cleaning attention than the other bathrooms, and doesn’t look nearly as nice. But it’s a great place to go to be guaranteed you won’t get disturbed.

—Rich

Woods Hall, floor 1

Directions: Walk into the main door and turn right — you will see a short set of stairs on your left; go up them. It’s right there. Can’t miss it.

REPORT CARD

Cleanliness: C+

It’s old and run-down to the point that it affects how you feel about yourself. But it’s not dirty.

Odor: C+

It smells like a bathroom. Which is weird, because I don’t think anyone’s been in here in like, 30 years.

Solitude: A

Woods Hall is the BEST. It’s the academic home of two majors without ANY GUYS — Women’s Studies and Anthropology. Seriously. I walked all over this building and did not see a single male. A little less secluded than its basement cousin.

Lighting: A-

Very nice, very bright lighting expertly placed. A few points docked because it’s a strange, yellowish color.

Facilities

Stalls: 2, motion flush

Urinals: 3, motion flush

Sinks: 2, manual faucets

Notes: A great bathroom in a building populated almost exclusively by women — and the stalls are wooden and look like they were stolen from some kind of goth-themed saloon.

—Rich

Art-Sociology, floor 2, bathroom 2

Directions: Walk into the Art-Sociology Building through the door on the plaza between Benjamin, Tawes, and Art-Soc. Inside, you will see a short hallway on your left — go down this hall. The bathroom is the first door on the right.

REPORT CARD

Cleanliness: F

This one is a creatively dirty bathroom — the WATER smells funny. The water! Like really, dude. If you wash your hands you feel dirtier.

Odor: C

You won’t be confusing this joint with a homemade apple pie, but it’s not terrible. EXCEPT FOR THE GODDAMN WATER.

Solitude: D

It’s right inside the busiest entrance, and there aren’t that many facilities.

Lighting: B-

Lit brightly enough, but it probably doesn’t matter. Just keep walking.

Facilities

Stalls: 1, manual flush

Urinals: 1, manual flush

Sinks: 2, manual faucets

Notes: The only thing saving this bathroom is the newspaper stand 10 feet from the door. I don’t know how one specific bathroom can have different water than everywhere else, but I can’t get past it. The WATER!

—Rich

[recommended for review by metalheman]

Architecture Building, ground floor

Directions: Walk in the main door of the Architecture Building, the one across the street from Art-Soc with the bridge leading up to it. Once inside, you’ll see a set of steps to your left. Take them down to the ground floor — you’ll be in the student pseudo-lounge, and you’ll see a glass wall with doors in front of you. Walk through those doors and it will be on your left. If you get to the entrance of the Kibel Gallery, you’ve gone too far.

REPORT CARD

Cleanliness: C-

It’s old and painted the color of orange sherbet. There are cracked tiles everywhere and a chunk of wall is gone from underneath one of the sinks.

Odor: C-

Generally unpleasant scent. I can’t tell if it’s actually that bad though, because it was horrible when I walked in and then I couldn’t smell it anymore, but I left and came back 10 minutes later and it stank again. The nose is a curious organ.

Solitude: A-

I’m guessing traffic heats up when big architecture projects are due for the upperclassmen, whose studios are right down the hall, but other than that this is a well-hidden little place. Also, there are several cool galleries around that nobody seems to care about people wandering around in.

Lighting: A-

When you walk in you’d think it was terrible. But there is really a perfectly fine level of light in the stalls.

Facilities

Stalls: 2, motion flush

Urinals: 2, motion flush

Sinks: 2, manual faucets

Notes: Architecture majors are a weird lot, and their building is this really strange balance between cool and decrepit. Despite the slightly above-average grades, this bathroom probably isn’t one to seek out unless you’re actually already in the building. It’s grody and old — if you’re looking for quiet, there are better places to go.

—Rich

South Campus Dining Hall, floor 3

Directions: There are several ways to get to this secluded number, any of which could be locked for a lot of different reasons. The easiest way is to go in the secondary door to the main floor, which is on the same wall as the main diner entrance but farther down on the right. Once you go in this door, either walk up the stairs or take the elevator to the third floor. Be careful with that elevator though — it was dangerous enough for some intrepid journalism student to make a video about it, and then for some intrepid journalism instructors to try to kick him out of the university for it.

But no matter. Once you get to the top, walk through the two doors at the top of the steps and down the long, skinny hallway. When you get to the main hallway, turn right. It will be your first door on the right.

If the diner is closed, the large concrete steps to the left of the main diner entrance will take you to the same main hallway on the third floor. Just follow it the length of the building and it will be on your right.

REPORT CARD

Cleanliness: D

It’s old and mistreated, and the crazy long-hairs from the radio station down the hall have a habit of getting drunk and leaving their bodily fluids lying around.

Odor: C-

It’s old and mildewy, and the room’s yellow tint doesn’t help.

Solitude: A

It’s a big bathroom, but there isn’t a reason for too many people to be up there; the Diamondback newsroom and WMUC studios are there with half of the University Counseling Center, but that’s pretty much it.

Lighting: C+

If I couldn’t see the ceiling I’d think the place was lit with a bunch of gas lamps. Really bizarre lighting not really conducive to productive reading, but I gave it a little boost because there’s almost always a newspaper lying in at least one of the stalls.

Facilities

Stalls: 3, manual flush

Urinals: 6, manual flush

Sinks: 4, manual faucets

Notes: A very quiet locale, but leaves a lot to be desired in the way of ambience. Also, the urinals are really weird and stick out extremely far from the wall. Which doesn’t make sense. Who would design a urinal whose only practical function is to get an eyeful of the dude next to you?

—Rich

Art-Sociology, floor 2, bathroom 1

Directions: Walk into the Art-Sociology Building through the door on the plaza between Benjamin, Tawes, and Art-Soc. Walk down the small staircase in front of you and follow the pathway around the atrium. Follow the curve of the path to the right and go through the double-doors to the left of the Art Gallery. It will be on your left.

REPORT CARD

Cleanliness: B-

It’s old, but there’s really nothing wrong with it.

Odor: C+

It’s a bathroom. It smells like a bathroom.

Solitude: B

It’s not too far off the beaten path, but there are several more accessible bathrooms around.

Lighting: B-

The lights are bright but poorly placed. Not terrible though.

Facilities

Stalls: 2, motion flush

Urinals: 3, motion flush

Sinks: 5, motion faucets

Notes: An average bathroom, maybe slightly cleaner. Not one to seek out, but certainly not one to shy away from. Also, we’ve noticed that the number of sinks is almost always equal to the number of stalls — we’re investigating any regulatory reasons why this might be, but this particular bathroom has a ridiculous number of sinks. So… there’s that.

—Rich