Category Archives: F

Morrill Hall, floor 1

Directions: Walk into the main door of the building and it’s directly in front of you.

REPORT CARD

Cleanliness: A-

It’s old and has random pipes popping out of weird places, but it’s almost never used and is quite clean.

Odor: A

There really isn’t anybody around to stink it up.

Solitude: A+

NO ONE IS HERE. Morrill Hall is almost exclusively TA offices and Economics meeting rooms, and even then the place has like four doors in the whole joint.

Lighting: F+

Our first “F” rating comes from the absolutely abhorrent lighting in an otherwise lovely restroom. The stalls are DARK.

Facilities

Stalls: 2, motion flush

Urinals: 1, manual flush

Sinks: 2, motion faucets

Notes: Haunted-ass Morrill Hall was built in 1898 and was one of the only buildings to survive the fire of 1912. This bathroom is EXTREMELY convenient (did you even know this building was here?) and never used, but don’t expect to get any reading done. And don’t go at night.

—Rich

McKeldin Library, basement level

Directions: Walk into McKeldin Library and walk to the left side of the welcome desk. If you turn left, you will see a bank of computers in front of you, and there will be a set of stairs to your left. Take these stairs to the basement and turn right at the bottom of the steps. It will be the last door on your right, immediately before the MITH office.

REPORT CARD

Cleanliness: A-

Appears to be as old as most of the other bathrooms on the upper levels of the library, but much, much less used.

Odor: B

Like several other bathrooms in the library, this one has a peculiar plastic-y smell to it. We suspect a cleaning product.

Solitude: A-

It’s one of the best-kept secrets at the university, but it’s the only open bathroom for the offices in the basement — that we know of. There is another bathroom down here, and you can find it if you follow the hallway the opposite direction to the Conservation center, but it’s locked with a code.

Lighting: F

How dumb does an architect have to be to fail to account for proper reading light when designing bathrooms IN A LIBRARY? There are horrifying bright lights over the sinks, but no lights over the stalls, and the tall stall separators cast long shadows that make any kind of reading almost impossible.

Facilities

Stalls: 3, manual flush

Urinals: 3, manual flush

Sinks: 3, manual faucets

Notes: It might not be the most aesthetically pleasing facility, but the basement of the library is as creepy as your mom’s uncle’s mustache and this bathroom is chock-full of adventure appeal. You’ve gotta check it out once before you graduate. When you walk in, it’s like walking into the vault of an abandoned bank — you get the feeling you’re the first person to see it since Al Capone was alive.

—Rich Abdill