A Triumphant Return: Apology, Transformation, and my thoughts on Justin Bieber

It feels good to be back.

Over the past few weeks, I haven’t reviewed any new bathrooms, or even stopped in to say hi. I am sorry. Finals week restricted my bathroom exploration time significantly. Unfortunately, I am no longer residing in College Park, and in all likelihood, none of you care about light fixtures in my home bathrooms. BUT! I want to keep contributing, so barring an overwhelmingly negative response, I have decided that I’m basically just gonna put up a bunch of videos and, from time to time, post my thoughts on the day’s most and/or least pressing issues.

So here goes.

Justin Bieber is all over the place. Especially twitter. People are always making a fuss over him and he has become quite controversial. I have no problem with him; I see the appeal. Personally, I don’t think he deserves some of the criticism he receives. He’s just a kid and that one guy says German in a MAD weird voice, yo.

But I understand why people hate him. More than anyone else, Bieber typifies the manufactured artist. A cute little boy, with a ridiculous haircut that is apparently enthralling to tween girls, passable singing ability, and enough strength to hold a guitar in front of him gets spotted on YouTube and is thrust into the mainstream. Check out his wiki. His look is supposed to be his own, yet he employed a “swagger coach”. What? He’s gotten writing credits on a few of his songs, so props for that. But it has always been with a posse of other pros. It doesn’t matter how forced it is that a little kid who could pass for a baby is singing a song where he affectionately calls a girl baby. It doesn’t matter that his debut CD was 7 songs clocking in at a whopping 25 minutes, because people still paid full price for it.

It should matter though.

Good for this kid for doing his thing, but America, you should feel ashamed. People used to make music that meant something, and contrary to popular belief, it they still do. The unfortunate reality is that they are overshadowed by all the musicians out there who are about as unique and exciting as a box of reduced-fat Triscuits. There is nothing inherently wrong with the generic, but there is something wrong with settling for it just because it is forced down your throat. I am not afraid to admit that I enjoy a few of JB’s melodies, but his songs will never mean anything real to me. Probably because they don’t mean anything. They are merely symbols of an industry takeover of the most beautiful form of art.

Here’s a summary of my thoughts: even though Justin Bieber has some catchy songs, he has no business being as wildly popular as he is because in reality, he’s just a kid with a nice face which increases the love little girls have for the songs he sings about relationships and loves that other people wrote about. It’s about being real people.

But “Baby” is still a ballin’ song.

That’s all for now. It’s great to be back in the only place I love more than CP: the Internet.

–Jake

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