No-poop advisory: Key basement

4/26/10, 3:01 p.m.: There is a HORRIBLE backup in the men’s bathroom in the basement of Francis Scott Key. Somebody took a dump that looks like it’s out of one of the Saw movies, and not the first one, like one of the later ones where they were trying way too hard. Like seriously. It’s everywhere. And there’s toilet paper all over the seat and falling in and bloody handprints on the wall and it’s just a mess. Don’t go there.

—Rich

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