Tydings Hall, floor 3

Directions: Get yo’ self to the main staircase in Tydings and take it up to the third floor. Head left and then right at the end of the hall so you see the GVPT advising office. It is on your right.

REPORT CARD

Cleanliness: D

With a hideous pattern of random browns and beiges disgracing the floor and the walls, the old bathroom is either actually clean or just does a great job of letting dirt blend in. The problem here is the unreliable toilets. Towards the end of the day, it seems like these three struggle to force down those extra-large dumps.

Odor: B

Not cleaning product, not excrement; just there. With public bathrooms, one assumes any smell is a bad smell, but the lingering scent here is nothing to complain about.

Solitude: A-

The third floor of Tydings has more advising offices than classrooms, which are all small discussion sections anyway. You’re likely better off here than other bathrooms in the building, which all have fairly small cramped stalls anyway.

Lighting: B-

The dim yellow does it’s job well enough, and actually kinda complements the ugly color scheme. It sort of gives off a nostalgic old middle school bathroom vibe. But a good old bathroom. One with character.

Facilities

Stalls: 3, motion flush

Urinals: 2, motion flush

Sinks: 2, motion faucets

Notes: THANK GOODNESS the brilliant bathroom architect put a wall almost right in front of the door so those who walk in can’t peek at people washing their hands. Also of note: the bathrooms in Tydings have a little shelf you can hang your bags or place your notebooks or hide your drugs. When the toilets are flowing, this bathroom is a great place for a quiet shit. Unfortunately, the toilets aren’t always flowing.

—Jake

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4 responses to “Tydings Hall, floor 3

  1. Statistically speaking, the best place to poop and pee is actually the first floor of STAMP student union. Janitors usually clean the STAMP bathrooms two to three times a day; whereas the cleaning frequencies for library’s bathroom is astonishingly low in spite of high frequencies of peeing and shitting abuses from overworked, procrastinating individuals.
    Because STAMP bathroom in the first floor, (or is it second, anyways, the same level as Panda), is situated in an obscure, clandestine corner. There is a relatively low frequency of shitting and peeing in these bathrooms. Notice that my methodology is essentially based on what you call: a shitting cleaning ratio, that is, I divide the number of people who frequent the bathroom with the number of cleanings janitor forgo to maintain the bathroom hygiene. Through my anal calculation and assidious observations, I’ve found that the bathroom in the STAMP student unions have the lowest ratio, which means it has the highest degree of shitting/cleaning efficiency. Bravo!
    STAMP student union is also very convenient to travel, it is in the center of the campus, so the location is ideal for any part-time, leisure seeking individuals, who at the busiest hours of their school schedules, may walk just a few steps into the STAMP, enjoy their meal, and have their intestines cleansed of filthy matters.
    I personally recommend that you shit at the place just after 9:00AM, and at night after 9:00PM. It is just before/after the janitor has cleansed the bathroom. I’d give it a 9/10.

    • I agree — to a point. Stamp is definitely a primo locale, but the ground floor — the one with Panda on it — is way too heavily travelled. It’s immaculate but it’s a little busy for my taste.
      Same for the first floor, the one with the main desk and the front door. The second floor though… that’s where the money is. You’ve got the same bathrooms, almost equal cleaning frequency, and probably a tenth of the foot traffic.

  2. please do a review on the bathrooms in the Math Building, they are utterly disgusting.

    • We’re making our way over to the science buildings; the Mall is a slightly higher priority right now but it’s obvious we need to get over to Math and Physics. We have a tip on a secret shitter over in Math that I can’t wait to investigate.

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