Category Archives: B

Cole Field House, concourse bathroom 1

Directions: Walk into the main door of Cole, through the lobby and onto the concourse. Turn right and walk a quarter of the way around until you come to a small lobby with the entrance to the Driskell Center in it. A small hallway on the left houses a family bathroom. Go in.

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Cleanliness: B-

It’s not a bathroom that gets a lot of cleaning attention, but it’s also very low-traffic. It’s average.

Odor: C+

Middling odor. Not really that terrible but if you were blind you’d still know you were in a bathroom.

Solitude: A+

Nobody comes around Cole Field House anymore, and you can lock the door behind you. You could probably run a business out of this place and not be in anyone’s way.

Lighting: B

Yellow lighting, not very bright but it will get the job done.

Facilities

Stalls: 1, motion flush

Urinals: 0

Sinks: 1, manual faucet

Notes: The facilities in Cole are massive because of its former life as the home of Maryland basketball. You could really go to any of the bathrooms to get some privacy, but this one is absolutely the most secure.

—Rich

Susquehanna Hall, floor 2

Directions: Enter SQH through the side door faces the South Campus Dining Hall. Take the stairs immediately to your right up one floor. Go left to the end of the hallway, then right,  and then I think you go right again but if you get lost the bathroom has a room number: 21-A. Obviously it wasn’t that memorable.

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Cleanliness: B

Better than the first floor because it’s less wet. Still doesn’t appear to be attended to very often.

Odor: A

I think. Maybe my nose is just that stuffed.

Solitude: C

Again, better than the first floor alternative but there are a lot of rooms in use up here to.

Lighting: C-

More light manages to seep through to the stalls here. Basically I’m telling you this is just a slightly better version of the bathroom on the first floor. And that one wasn’t very good.

Facilities

Stalls: 3, automatic flush

Urinals: 3, automatic flush

Sinks: 4, automatic faucets

Notes: Another below-average bathroom, except for whatever reason, this one has a little foyer between the hallway door and the bathroom door. Two doors. An obvious warning sign: go elsewhere.

—Jake

Adele H. Stamp Student Union, ground floor, bathroom 1

Directions: Walk to the Hoff Theater through whatever route you desire — it’s in the hallway branching off of the food court next to Chick-Fil-A. It’s directly across from the ticket office.

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Cleanliness: B-

Not nearly as well-maintained as the other bathrooms in Stamp, but there are still shiny faucets and a relatively crap-free stall.

Odor: C

It smells much worse than it should, and definitely worse than it looks. I may have just had bad timing, but not the best scent up in herr.

Solitude: A-

It’s a FAMILY bathroom, which means it’s actually protocol to lock the door when you come in. Still, it’s right next to the busiest location on campus, the food court, and there are almost always people hanging out right outside the door that will definitely judge you if you come scampering out of here with three newspapers and a printed copy of the Bathroom Inventory.

Lighting: B

Dimmer than most of the great bathrooms in the building, and it’s pretty dim in the stall despite a light being directly overhead. Not the best but workable.

Facilities

Stalls: 1, motion flush

Urinals: 0

Sinks: 3 motion faucets, 1 manual faucet

Notes: In any other building, this bathroom would be an oasis. But in Stamp, it looks like crap. It definitely gets less cleaning attention than the other bathrooms, and doesn’t look nearly as nice. But it’s a great place to go to be guaranteed you won’t get disturbed.

—Rich

CSPAC, floor 1

Directions: Walk in the front entrance so you see the Kogod and Kay theaters. Turn left. There is a sign on the ceiling that will tell you the rest. (It’s like 10 feet away)

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Cleanliness: B-

A definite disappointment. The smart set-up and shiny new equipment is cool, but there is water and paper and glitter and other debris on the floor. Apparently the theater department doesn’t teach any manners.

Odor: A

It smells fine. Like art.

Solitude: D+

CSPAC is a busy place all of the time — classes in the day and operas and shit in the night — and this bathroom is located for convenience. It’s easy to find and nearby the main entrance and frequently used theaters. You won’t be alone.

Lighting: A+

Brilliant lights illuminate the shiny things to make them gleam. Great placement over all stalls and urinals, and you won’t be blinded upon entering.

Facilities

Stalls: 3, manual flush

Urinals: 6, manual flush

Sinks: 5, manual faucets

Notes: It’s a solid bathroom but there will always be people in and out. It’s just a noisy place in general. Think movie theater bathroom.

—Jake

Lefrak, floor 1

Directions: Walk in the front door of Lefrak. Make a left, then a right and the bathroom will be at the end of the hall. DISCLAIMER: this may or may not be the best (or a viable) method to find this bathroom. Figure it out.

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Cleanliness: B-

The gross floors are always sprinkled with sink water from people frantically shaking their hands dry for lack of paper towels. One towel dispenser is completely useless and the other has a broken handle which exposes a jagged, rusty piece of metal that only fingers of great fortitude and courage can conquer to coax out drying utensils.

Odor: B

By no means terrible, but nothing about this bathroom deserves an ‘A’.

Solitude: C

Four urinals make this bathroom an attractive stop for pissers. Plus, it’s on a floor full of long lectures and labs that students will be itching to escape from. Crowded.

Lighting: D+

A shining example of dimness, the weak lights in here do well to enhance the putrid patterns of gray and off-white that adorn the walls and floor. Everything about this bathroom seems to be working towards the label dingy.

Facilities

Stalls: 2, motion flush

Urinals: 4, motion flush

Sinks: 3, manual faucets

Notes: A poor final resting place for your turd. Basically all this bathroom has going for it is the trashcans are tiny boxes that are attached to the walls near the sinks instead of resting on the floor. That’s nice. But they aren’t used often considering the difficulty encountered in trying to extract paper towels.

–Jake

Art-Sociology, floor 4, bathroom 1

Directions: Walk into the Art-Sociology Building through the door on the plaza between Benjamin, Tawes, and Art-Soc. Walk down the small staircase in front of you and follow the pathway around the atrium. Follow the curve of the path to the right, past the Art Library. In front of you, you will see a set of double-doors. Walk up to them, but then turn left and go through those doors instead, which will lead you into a stairway. Take this to the very top, until your only options are a door to a hallway or a door that says “DANGER: Do not enter.” Do not enter. Really. I tried. Go through the regular, non-warning door and turn left; it’s the first door on your left.

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Cleanliness: B-

It’s ugly, but it will get the job done. Like your grandma: old but as clean as it needs to be.

Odor: B+

It smells curiously of fresh lumber.

Solitude: A+

The only people up here are anthropology majors coming to fellate their TAs.

Lighting: D-

The stalls are straight DARK, yo. Dark.

Facilities

Stalls: 2, motion flush

Urinals: 3, motion flush

Sinks: 5, motion faucets

Notes: A curious facility. There are way more sinks than are necessary, and the toilet in the second stall is practically flush with the ground. Also the urinal design and placement are absolutely bizarre (see below). But overall it’s a great, lonely restroom.

—Rich

Your noble editor-in-chief, absolutely baffled by the urinals up here. Seriously whose idea was this.

Art-Sociology, floor 2, bathroom 1

Directions: Walk into the Art-Sociology Building through the door on the plaza between Benjamin, Tawes, and Art-Soc. Walk down the small staircase in front of you and follow the pathway around the atrium. Follow the curve of the path to the right and go through the double-doors to the left of the Art Gallery. It will be on your left.

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Cleanliness: B-

It’s old, but there’s really nothing wrong with it.

Odor: C+

It’s a bathroom. It smells like a bathroom.

Solitude: B

It’s not too far off the beaten path, but there are several more accessible bathrooms around.

Lighting: B-

The lights are bright but poorly placed. Not terrible though.

Facilities

Stalls: 2, motion flush

Urinals: 3, motion flush

Sinks: 5, motion faucets

Notes: An average bathroom, maybe slightly cleaner. Not one to seek out, but certainly not one to shy away from. Also, we’ve noticed that the number of sinks is almost always equal to the number of stalls — we’re investigating any regulatory reasons why this might be, but this particular bathroom has a ridiculous number of sinks. So… there’s that.

—Rich