Category Archives: advisories

No-poop advisory: Tydings, floor 1

[Edit 1/25/11, 17:30: As of about an hour ago, this bathroom was completely out of commission — “OUT OF ORDER” sign and all. Also the water fountains on the floor didn’t appear to be working either. May be a larger problem than just a vile poo.]

Heads up, folks — some prolifically digestive individual has dropped a deuce in the first-floor men’s bathroom in Tydings that could be  classified as a terrorist act. I just wandered in to wash my hands and I swear I could hear Osama bin Laden recording a new audio tape in one of the stalls.

Speaking of hand-washing, the review of this bathroom has been downgraded to “one of the worst” because it was discovered today that the sinks don’t work and every government major poops there every day at least twice.

Careful out there, comrades.

—Rich

No-poop advisory: Key basement

4/26/10, 3:01 p.m.: There is a HORRIBLE backup in the men’s bathroom in the basement of Francis Scott Key. Somebody took a dump that looks like it’s out of one of the Saw movies, and not the first one, like one of the later ones where they were trying way too hard. Like seriously. It’s everywhere. And there’s toilet paper all over the seat and falling in and bloody handprints on the wall and it’s just a mess. Don’t go there.

—Rich

No-poop advisory: McKeldin Library 3

4/25/10, 11:52pm: This has not been verified by UMDbathrooms.com, but we have received a credible report that we have a NO-GO situation on the bathroom on the third floor of McKeldin Library, in the “A-DG” stacks and right next to the windows overlooking the second-floor study area.

According to UMD sophomore (and fellow Delran High alum) Dave Roesner, it “smells like somebody peed ALL on the floors dude.”

You’ve been advised.

—Rich